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Your New Year's Resolutions: New Edition

New year resolutions are one of the most hilarious things we remember about the holiday since we almost never keep them, but always find a moment to write down a few before another year begins. Of course, there's nothing bad about trying to set a few goals, seeing in which direction to move in the next 365 days and how your life might be improved, but is there any real need to make those if we know we'll most probably give up on them before we finish eating the last new year salad? Though at least they're funny, so let's make more!