I’m 39 years old, still single, and have been single—apart from a few brief interludes—for most of my adult life.
Yet, as an adult who chooses to be single—and is happy being single—I feel constant pressure to justify my choice. Pressure comes from first or second dates when discussion inevitably shifts into a crossexamination about why I am the way that I am. It comes from my parents who understand that my single state is the key roadblock to them finally becoming grandparents. It comes from friends who have settled down and wonder whether I really want to be single forever.
In the face of all this pressure, a few questions come to mind:
Why am I the one who needs to justify my desire to be single?
Is it normal that we see romantic relationships and eventually marriage as some kind of “success”?
Shouldn’t we judge the desire to be in a relationship just as critically as the desire to be single?
I think there’s too much societal pressure on single people to change their relationship status. The result of this pressure is that many people end up entering relationships based on expectations that are difficult to live up to.
By the time we arrive at my closing remarks, I hope to have convinced you that there is no shame in choosing to remain single, just as there’s no shame in choosing to be in a relationship. The key point is our decision should come from our own choices, and not from outside pressures that make us fearful of what’s happening in our life.
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