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25 Of The Best One Liners You Have Ever Heard


One liners are great. You can use them everywhere. Parties, school, work...they're guaranteed to make you the coolest cat in town. Okay, that may be a bit of an exaggeration, but there is something about a well placed one liner that can completely change the mood of a conversation. Often they can be a great way to diffuse awkwardness, reduce tension, or just elicit some laughs. If you're really good, it will probably take people a few minutes to get it and some might not get the joke at all. The difference between one liners and typical jokes is that one liners are just that - one line. Usually a statement or an observation, the joke often involves some sort of word play or irony. The key to making a good one liner work is to fit it into the conversation seamlessly. This means that you always have to be on the lookout for opportunities to drop your joke, at least in the beginning. As time goes on you'll get more natural and even start surprising yourself at how good you've become. At any rate, even if you never use them one liners make for good fun. These are 25 of the best one liners you have ever heard!

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You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing

I, for one, like Roman numerals

I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I'm ok.

My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the zoo

A magician was going down a road and turned into a driveway

How long is a Chinese name

Last week a hypnotist convinced me that I'm a soft malleable metal with an atomic number of 82. I'm easily lead.

Ikea has sponsored our local school. Now assembly takes ages.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationary

And more...

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posted by orla17ra